write because you’ve got something to say

it’s been quite a long time since i have last posted something around here. i didn’t quit! it was just an end of university year with many exams and a successful BA diploma in pastoral theology for me. and that took from me a lot of time.

i haven’t published, that’s true, but i was constantly thinking in the past two months on why do i write for and what do i write for. of course i know why i write! (see that down below). well, the result of this reevaluating of my purpose is that i decided to start in the future a hungarian version of this blog. i will translate most of the posts that i already wrote and will constantly do that from now on. so, my hungarian speaking fellows: from now on you don’t have to complain, that you don’t understand what’s happening! 

 

why do i write? 

when i started thinking about launching this blog, i bought myself a notebook (paper, not digital) and i bought it in order to write down my ideas and plans. but i bought one particular notebook, with the following very inspiring quote on the cover:

you don’t write because you want to say something. you write because you’ve got something to say.

now, as i think back to the moment i have bought this copy-book for my notes, i know that was a short, but substantial moment.

 

you’ve got something to say:

self-knowledge
i have to start with being selfish. writing for me means to know myself better. that’s why i write a self coaching blog. it’s a way of expressing myself. sometimes it’s good to write out the things you have deep inside – for that you need a journal. writing on the blogosphere teaches me to control myself, my words and my thoughts. readers give a good feed-back (if they like-follow-comment-share etc).
but i never exclude the possibility that readers can benefit from my selfish experiment. everyone is free to learn from what i write.

share yourself with everyone

knowledge
some can work more on finding a topic to write about, than what it takes to actually write a post. it can be a nice experiment to try to find the topic that most people are interested in. if the topic is good, the readers will come.
i see it the other way around. what i write about it’s already present, i have dreams, experiences, i see things, read, think on the things i experience. i don’t search for a topic because i need to write something, anything. i’ve got something to say and that’s what i’ll write about. it’s up to the readers how will the articles are received.

write because you’ve got something to say

providence
you need to know your audience – they say. and that’s true. when you start a page, you have to take in consideration that the content you are posting will be read by one type of audience. so if you want to reach as many readers as you can, you have to write in such a way, that a wide range of people become interested in your articles.
now, for me, that’s not enough. i don’t want to trap in people in to my blog. i care about those who visit my blog and read my content. i keep an eye on those who are interested.
74% of those who visit my blog are native hungarian speakers. i can’t leave this vital information out. so, by taking the blog to a new level and providing a hungarian version, i want to show my readers that i care about them.
for those who don’t speak hungarian, relax: i know what topics you prefer and will continue writing on that, plus + i am happy to answer all you questions and be a friend when needed.

take care of your audience

so the process starts with me, an egoistic attempt to express myself and to improve. but in this process i hope to see the needs of others.
i hope i can be useful for others too. 

identity

the impacts of some experiences from the past week lead me to think more about questions related to identity. not only in general, where do i belong, what’s my role on this planet, who am i as mother/father/employee, but more in an ontological? way.

„perhaps it’s impossible to wear an identity without becoming what you pretend to be” Orson Scott Card

we are born with a so called blank paper knowledge, tabula rasa. all we do our whole life is to fill in this white sheet with information, experiences, feelings and behavior. we are constantly changing. right from the moment of conception – before we even see the light of this world, and up to the moment we stop seeing the light of this world – after we die, we still change.

in between the two periphery we constantly develop, change, shape. The 4 years old naive boy i used to be is not anymore the same with the 16 years old rebellious teenager, and will never be the same with the 30+ years old men. who am i, who is the authentic self?

following my blog post on burn-out someone asked me on linkedIn the following:

You imply that you or I are currently your inauthentic self, otherwise you wouldn’t highlight the need to move toward your authentic self. This also means that you must clearly know what your authentic self is to be able to determine that you are actually moving towards it. Without this knowledge, you can’t know that you are for certain journeying towards your authentic self, only that you are seeking and/or experiencing a difference from your current inauthentic self. I was wondering when in the past, or how you came to know your authentic self before starting your journey?

i don’t know if i could give an answer that was required from me at this point. the only thing i know for sure is that i really mean what i wrote as a reply:

we all arrive to this world not knowing anything, and end our life with knowing how little we know. the attitude that stipulates the whole process is who we really are.

 

wash-in ~ wash-out

check out my first guest blogger post:

“a time for everything: a time to relax and a time to be busy, a time to frolic and a time to labor, a time to receive and a time to give, a time to begin and a time to finish.” Jonathan Lockwood H…

Source: wash-in ~ wash-out

Sometimes change can be for the birds

i like to call them rituals. routines are very effective.

Obstinatio.com

“Routine” – Just saying the word sounds boring. You may not even realize it but you love routine as much as you may hate it. You love it because it is the opposite of change. it is doing something over and over again day in and day out. It allows you to avoid surprises and to become comfortable in a pattern.

There is always noise about how change is good and that the only constant happens to be change itself. There are a ton of quotes, sayings and believers of routine being the worst thing since sliced bread.While change absolutely has a place we also believe that routines do as well. We are all here because we are trying to achieve a better version of ourselves and sometimes we need to get a boost to get there. This is how a routine can help.

Routines allow us to gain efficiency and measure progress over time…

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burn-out and what leads to it

it’s always busy around this period of the year. fully packed agenda, numerous tasks to finish, lots of traffic, many presents to be bought, people to meet and greet.
i have particularly lot’s of things to do before and during this Christmas -so will be from now on every year and it’s not that i’m complaining!- this is why the question of burn-out preoccupies me in a special way.

in the search for understanding what’s happening with overloaded people and how to prevent burn-out, i got to read Anselm Grün on burnout prevention. the benedictine states that most of the times he observes five motives that lead to burn-out.

! but before reviewing the five, let me make it clear for everyone: stress and burn-out are not the same. being very busy and tired from being overcharged, having a lot of things on your schedule and not coping to finish what has to be done does not mean that you have a burnout. learn to distinguish stress, tiredness (and maybe the inability to organize yourself better) from burn-out !

1. perfectionism – most people try to do their best, but there are people who are not satisfied with themselves and they try to achieve 150%. be careful now, even 100% can’t be achieved – only maybe in heaven. why aiming higher, when the must-need thing is to do your job properly? you will put plus wight on your shoulders. if you try to put the standards higher than needed, you are the only one to blame for not being able to complete what you have planned. burn-out can strike when you try to do more than imaginable.
2. being outward – people try to satisfy others, try to live up to others expectations and behave in a way others would like to see them. it’s not you living anymore, but the one others expect from you to be lives on your behalf. you need to answer expectations, but you don’t need to fulfill every each of the expectations.
3. building wrong image of yourself – perfectionism is an inner process, being outward has to do with the surroundings. when the two of them are both present you get a mixed up stream of consciousness. you don’t work enough on your identity and for this reason you get to be changed in someone you don’t know anymore. it’s good to sit back from time to time and make it clear who you are and who you became. revert every time to the authentic self.
4.  tiredness – this is simple. it’s biology. we all reach a point where we need to stop. don’t put too much strain on yourself. take some proper rest. have you ever heard of power naps? now you did. apply them.
5. disappointment – this theme is very wide. it can be that you don’t get enough positive feed-back or you simply don’t take time to reflect on your activity. reflection gives you the opportunity to think through experiences, both good and bad. you have to admit yourself from time to time that you had failures, but you need to see also your successes. reflect not to be deflected.

 

instead of burning out, watch for these five causes and head forward like a fast car with a burnout.

mind the gap

there’s a big chance that you are -like me- a little more pragmatical person. dozens of theoretical books to read for exams, personal development and in order to make it as a professional. at least that’s what the certificate states.

i for myself enjoy to learn from the books professors recommend as compulsory. but sometimes i have the feeling it’s not enough for a proper preparation. many university courses are not a “how-to” or don’t inspire sufficiently. there is a big gap between theory and practice, theory and inspirational learning. if the educational system is not fairly practical, we might find ourselves in the situation of not knowing what to do with the thousands of pages we read.

so let’s try to mind the gap. mind the gap – originally used to warn passengers getting on the train/bus/metro – has also the meaning to deal with the void. in our case the void between uninspiring theory and practical ability.

here’s what i propose in order to mind the gap:
during studies or already being in practice search for people in you profession that inspire you. if it’s possible meet and ask for advice – until here nothing new or complicated. but an old roadster can surely recommend some good books to read for your profession. and i’m sure, that one who is in the profession for many years, won’t suggest you books that are packed with boring or ununderstandable theory. instead, they will give you titles that will inspire and grow you wings.

i ask every pastor, psychologist, theologian and people who work in a helping profession to give me their top 5 list of books that could inspire me as a further professional. i collect the lists and after 15-20 lists i compare the lists and choose the books with the most occurrences and add them on my to-read list.

this is one practical way i try to mind the gap.

what’s your excuse?